Bratwurst and schnapps

An office building in central Melbourne is holding a wine and food tasting. Since this is during business hours, moderate consumption will no doubt be encouraged. What are "Australien" producers? Australien is the transliteration of Australia in Danish, German, and Swedish. I'm going to attend this tasting tomorrow. Perhaps it will incorporate the cuisine of Western Europe, hence the typo.

Australian idle

I am informed by Wikipedia, which may or may not be an authoritative source of information, that most countries that celebrate Father's Day do so on the third Sunday in June. However, Australia celebrates it on the first Sunday in September, alongside Fiji, New Zealand, and Papua New Guinea.

If you have a father, and intend to buy him a Father's Day gift, Bunnings, Australia's largest hardware chain, may be your first port of call. He may gratefully receive the gift of a set of tools or gardening equipment. Either that, or he might be offended, taking such a gift as a subtle way of telling him that he is lazy, and you want him to do more work around the house.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father%27s_Day

Irreverance

I dare any of my plethora of engaged friends and acquaintances to incorporate this piece of music into their wedding ceremony.

The funny and serious dichotomy

At the risk of milking a joke too much, today I turn my attention to The Police's 1978 hit, Roxanne. Years before Sting embarked on a solo career with songs like Russians and campaigning to preserve Amazonian rainforests, he shows his social conscience by singing against prostitution.

As a child hearing this on the radio, I had trouble making out the lyrics. The chorus goes:

Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)

I'm not joking when I thought that it sounded like "Ooo roo roo red right." It wasn't until years later that I properly understood the lyrics and the meaning of this song. Indeed, I used to sing it on the way to church on Sundays, because the congregation I belonged to met in a building that was on the same street as a brothel, and I often saw customers arriving and leaving said premises on a Sunday morning.

How did you come up with your unique style of entertainment?

Clive James is terminally ill with emphysema and leukaemia. Based in England since the 1960's, he is so ill that he will never be able to return home to Australia and die in his homeland. Over the weekend he appeared at a literary festival in London.

In the 1990's, I was something of a fan, reading the first three volumes of his Unreliable Memoirs, and his television work, through which he made having no social life on Saturday nights slightly more bearable. His various series showcased bad television from around the world. Amongst other things, he introduced me to inept stuntman, Super Dave, kitschy instructional films such as Shy Guy (1947), and Beginning to Date (1953), in which a teenage boy asks out a girl who is a foot taller than him, the infamous Japanese game show, Endurance, bad American children's show, Nubeluz, and of course the inexplicably popular Cuban songstress Margarita Pracatan.

Part of the fun of watching him was his interviews. He was very skilled at making fun of his guests without them realizing it. The studio audience was in on the joke, as were more astute viewers. Television has never been the same since he stopped doing it. He doesn't have long to live, and will be sadly missed.

http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/may/31/clive-james-defies-illness-for-london-performance

Hmm, okay...

Hermans' Hermits. Image source: Wikimedia Commons

2014 marks fifty years since Herman's Hermits burst onto the music scene with their debut hit single, I'm Into Something Good. Unlike some of their contemporaries, such as the Rolling Stones and The Who, the Hermits sung light and fluffy songs. They had no pretensions of being subversive or making social or political statements. 

On first glance, their 1965 hit, I'm Henry the VIII, I Am, a revival of a 1910 British music hall hit by Fred Murray and R.P. Weston, also seems to be a novelty song. It tells the story of an unnamed widow who has been married seven times. All of her deceased former husbands were named Henry. The song doesn't reveal how they died.  Was it from natural causes, or could it be that this widow is a black widow who killed each of her former husbands in order to receive sizable life insurance payouts?

To avoid the same fate, Henry the VIII (his wife's eighth old man) needs to prepare all of his own meals, regularly check his car for signs of sabotage, and look over his shoulder. The other solution is to change his name to something other than Henry.

A headful of rubbish

Muffet from Battlestar Galactica

Churches are often fond of getting their congregations to participate in some sort of study program to get the year off on the right foot, so to speak. To that end, my cell group is working through Rick Warren's Forty Days in the Word. 

The DVD and accompanying workbook is designed to help Christians read the Bible more effectively, which is sorely needed these days.

Each chapter of the workbook is devoted to a different Bible study method, and the third chapter explains what Warren calls the "probe" method.

Warren has devised the following acrostic to apply to a verse or passage that you might be reading: SPACEPETS.

S - Is there a SIN to confess?
P - Is there a PROMISE to claim?
A - Is there an ATTITUDE to change?
C - Is there a COMMAND to obey?
E - Is there an EXAMPLE to follow?
P - Is there a PRAYER to pray?
E - Is there an ERROR to avoid?
T - Is there a TRUTH to believe?
S. - Is there SOMETHING to praise God for?

The phrases in the acrostic are all framed so as to help the reader draw out the passage's meaning. We all found this acrostic very amusing. What was Warren thinking when he came up with it? At least it is easy to remember. For my mind, the first thing I thought of was Muffet the daggett, which was a sort of robot dog from the original 1978 series of Battlestar Galactica.

If his teaching videos are any indication, Warren is an affable sort of chap and he'd probably be amused and not offended if somebody pointed this out to him, as long as it does not detract too much from his goal of getting Christians to read, properly understand and correctly apply the Bible to their lives.

Small things amuse small minds

Typographical errors can sometimes be amusing, and some of them predate the advent of computerized publishing and spell checkers. In those days, a good editor presumably needed to have an excellent eye for detail, or at least you would think that would be the case. You couldn't afford to be lazy and rely on automatic correction to detect these errors.

This picture is from Man's Past and Progress: The Story of Civilization, published in 1961 by Odhams in London. This is one of those general world history texts aimed at juvenile readers. t was the sort of book that earnest parents would buy for their children because "it will help them  with their school work." To make history accessible to such an audience, you add lots of illustrations and write in simple language.

This brief discussion is about the Phoenician civilization, and headed "The Frist (sic) Great Maritime Power." Surely they meant "first?" How many thousands of copies of this book were distributed with such an obvious and slightly embarrassing error? How much mirth did this create in libraries and classrooms around the world? Oh well, at least we can laugh about it now.

Nothing to do with Collette

Pictured on the right are two desk bells from my place of work that library patrons ring when the circulation desk is unattended and they need service. There's nothing more annoying than a patron who rings the bell when you can already see them standing at the desk waiting for you to come and serve them.  At quiet times of the day you often think of silly things to break up the monotony. I think it would be fun to replace these with a set of cow bells, and emulate the talents of the great Piffy, as seen in this clip from the classic Australian talent show, Pot Luck, which aired on daytime television in 1987, and introduced here by Tony Martin during the toilet break segment on the classic Australian comedy show The Late Show in 1993. 

 

Bottled diabetes

A friend sent me this. I couldn't resist posting it here.

Ben Folds

It's good to see that there's a market for books that don't involve fad diets, global conspiracies or teenage vampire romances. Author Christian Lander has taken it upon himself to satirize the pretensions inherent in the cultural values of urban, professional Caucasians, and about time too. While many of his references will be lost on non-American readers, what he says just as easily applies elsewhere. Among the items listed in his book are recycling and driving hybrid cars, expensive gourmet sandwiches, irony, organic groceries, having ethnic friends, drinking fair trade coffee, supporting worthy causes, world cinema, arts degrees (touche) and spirituality without commitment (ie any belief system that is not monotheistic and dogmatic is fashionable), and liking Barack Obama, because it's racist not to, to name but a few. Given that I partially fit this demographic, I recognise a lot of myself in this book. Very funny and incisive.

Flat packs and allen keys

Rumour has it that Ikea will take over General Motors and begin manufacturing cars. This may be the result. Have your allen key handy.

Guffaw

Who said librarians don't have a sense of humour? In 2002 Gene Ambaum and Bill Barns created Unshelved, a daily online comic strip based in a library. By word of mouth and the penetration of the web, its readership numbers 450000 worldwide and growing.

Celebrity swine flu victim

Ways of the force

In more Lego-related tomfoolery, this nifty website, www.reasonablyclever.com, has a feature that allows you to create a Lego character version of yourself. As a Star Wars fan, but not an obsessive one, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to turn myself into a Jedi Knight. As far as my hairstyle and facial expression goes, it's a pretty good likeness. In case you're wondering, I'm not one of those Star Wars nerds who fantasises about having Jedi powers, and their possible application in the real world. Having said that, there are some situations where they might come in handy.

More wasting time for fun and profit

This picture is the result of me submitting a head shot of myself to www.simpsonizeme.com. If you overlook the fast food chain marketing tie-in, this website allows you to create a Simpsons style caricature of yourself, complete with customisable hairstyle, facial features, and wardrobe. You can also choose a background to insert yourself in one of several locations around the town of Springfield. Here I am at the front entrance of Krustylu Studios, famed home of Krusty the Clown and every one's favourite animated cat and mouse team, Itchy and Scratchy.

Another brick in the wall

As a child, Lego was my favourite toy. Lego today is far more elaborate now than it was in my day, and some people are using it in creative ways. Take for example the Brick Testament, which uses Lego figures to make the stories of the Bible come alive as never before. Even the violent, salacious portions of Scripture have been lovingly recreated in Lego form. Here we see a picture from the Lego retelling of the death of Stephen, as overseen by the pre-conversion Apostle Paul, and adapted from the book of Acts. For this and other stories, point your Internet browser in the direction of www.thebricktestament.com/

Glitch

In what I imagine would be a rare display of organisational dysfunction, the RACV inadvertedly issued me with a Gold membership card (pictured at right). These cards are supposed to be issued to members with at least 25 years of RACV membership. According to the card, I've been an RACV member since October 1982. Considering I've only been driving for 13 years, and was only eight years old at the time, this is news to me. The only vehicle of any description that I used back then was my first bike, which was a red Roadmaster with U-shaped handlebars, bought from Iral's Toy Wonderland in Watsonia. All the cool kids in my neighbourhood had BMX's, which of course ruled me out. Although I fet self-conscious riding it, this bike gave me many years of use, serving me until my teen years, when I upgraded to a mountain bike. Needless to say, I had to contact the RACV to get this sorted out. A replacement card is on the way.

Your rates at work

If you have a passing interest in sustainable development issues, The Earth from Above photographic exhibition, featuring the work of French photographer Yann Arthus Bertrand, is well worth checking out. It's on at Federation Square until December 12, 2006. Bertrand's photographs reveal the natural beauty of our world, but also the devastation our poor stewardship of its resources has caused.

Bertrand is a strong advocate of sustainable development. This is a way of achieving economic growth in a more environmentally sensitive way. He believes it would allow us to improve the living conditions of the world's citizens and to satisfy the needs of generations to come. This development would be based on an economic growth respectful of both man and the natural resources of our world, with a conscious effort made to ensure that all people around the world share equally in its benefits and achieve a decent standard of living, which isn't happening at the moment. Since all people are made in the image of God, helping this to come about affirms their human dignity.

Some Christians, myself included, feel a little uncomfortable trying to reconcile our faith with environmental issues. We must be careful that this is done in submission and reference to this Scriptural mandate. In Genesis, God appointed humanity as stewards to manage His creation so that His Name would be honoured. Christian thinkers have argued that Christians have a valid part to play in the environmental movement. They have allowed themselves to be excluded from this movement, and other spiritual ideologies have filled the void. To some extent, environmentalism has become synonymous with earth worship or pantheism. In pantheist thought, everything bears the imprint of God, so creation can be worshipped in the same way as the God who made it. This way of thinking is idolatry and must be rejected.

Under now outmoded economic theories, governments benevolently provided their citizens with what were termed as public goods. These had almost no economic value, but were thought to enhance quality of life in some intangible way. Presumably public artwork falls under this category. In order to improve the visual amenity of the city, Melbourne City Council has invested heavily in public artworks in recent years. I never studied art appreciation when I was in school, or if I did, I wasn't paying attention. Apparently it's supposed to make symbolic statements about contemporary society, the human condition, and other philosophical concerns.
This symbolism is lost on me.

While I don't go out of my way to look at it, when I see public artwork, most of the time, I'm left scratching my head and thinking, "What's all that about?" I've no idea what these two artworks, situated in Birrarung Marr are meant to represent. As you can see, one looks like giant metal rods in a basket, and the other is a symbolic representation of some sort of animal. There was probably some sort of explanatory plaque nearby, but I didn't bother to look at it. Others I see as eyesores. One could mention the giant wooden dog near Fairfield Railway Station, erected at a cost of $5000. Evidently someone thought it was a good idea to install a set of large concrete eggs in a roundabout in Eltham, simulating a bird's nest. Maybe they were inspired by the Rocs, which are mythical bird-like monsters in the Sinbad stories. You may also have encountered an abstract giant green apple peel sculpture on a roundabout in Fitzsimon's Lane, Templestowe. This was to commemorate the apple orchards that once operated in the area until it was urbanised. Until it was explained to me what it was, I thought this piece looked like a thoughtlessly discarded piece of stretched chewing gum.

Me kick football

Aside from being the high point of the Melbourne sporting calendar, the AFL Grand Final also displays the cringeworthy spectacle of players from each team stumbling and mumbling their way through our national anthem, Advance Australia Fair.

On the other hand, it seems to me that football club songs are unsophisticated both lyrically and musically, specifically designed for ease of recall. Write a few verses of one or two syllable words, and set them to a well known public domain tune, and you have your song. It doesn't need to sung in tune, but suitable to be sung in unison as a team bonding exercise after winning a game, or possibly by drunken fans having a celebratory tipple.

Footballers have often been pilloried, sometimes deservedly for their lack of eloquence in speaking to the media and in other contexts, most notably by comedian Shaun Micallef in his hilarious Phillip Quist sketches on Full Frontal. In these sketches Micallef played Phillip Quist, a documentary film maker and art critic. Due to network staff shortages, he found himself having to work as a TV sports reporter, doing post-match interviews with footy players, a task which he considers beneath him. He demonstrates this with his arrogant, patronising interview technique, belittling the players for their inability to correctly use spoken English.